From: Gilbert To: AAHESGIT Subscribers Subject: AAHESGIT-41B: Human Moments, Connectedness (Part 2 of 2) Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2000 07:23:53 -0400 (6/16/00 AAHESGIT 41B. Part 2 of 2 parts. Approx. 4 pages from me Edward Hallowell is a psychiatrist who provides insights and advice about coping with the growing conflict between the flood of opportunities for shallow communications and our need for direct, meaningful connections with other people. For more information about "human moments," including the opportunity of submitting your own examples, and to hear an interview of Hallowell by myself and Amanda Antico, also go to: www.tltgroup.org/media/Ned.html One of his best pieces of advice: "Never worry alone." In the previous AAHESGIT posting I included an example of an important "human moment" of my own this week, and an excerpt from one of Hallowell's recent email messages. The excerpt below from Hallowell's latest book _Connect_ provides advice to the Harvard Chemistry Department. In a recent email message to Tom Marino of the Temple University medical school, Hallowell described his work as a consultant with that Harvard department: "Jim Anderson, the Chair, set out to create a more connected department after the suicide of one of the most gifted grad students. He is succeeding to make the place much more harmonious. I still consult with him, so I have close knowledge of this. It is quite wonderful. And the quality of the research is higher than ever. With 5 Nobel laureates in chemistry on the faculty, they certainly have the record of excellence. Connectedness is what they needed, and what they are getting." One of Hallowell's favorite quotes on this theme came from John Phillips, who founded the Exeter academy in 1789: "Goodness without knowledge is weak and feeble; but knowledge without goodness is dangerous." Hallowell adds: "I think the trick, for all institutions, is learning how to combine the two." This past Monday we did a live WebCast in which the featured guests were Edward "Ned" Hallowell and Tom Marino. NOTE: Hallowell and Marino will be offering a plenary session at the TLT Group's Summer Institute next month. For more info about SI2000, see: http://www.tltgroup.org/SI2000/default.htm For registration for SI2000 see: http://confreg.uoregon.edu/tltsi2000/) Steve Gilbert)============================================= The following passage is from Connect, by Edward Hallowell, Pantheon Books, 1999, pages 119-123. I hope you find it useful in dealing with the overload so many of us experience - being both "overconnected" and "disconnected." Steve Gilbert, 6/16/00 "Below is the brief document on stress management I prepared for the Department of Chemistry at Harvard. It was intended to be simple, practical and concrete. My effort was to provide steps that work, and steps that can be used by anyone. QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ON THE CARE AND MAINTENANCE OF THE HUMAN BRAIN FOR THE HARVARD CHEMISTRY DEPARTMENT Q: Why should I care about this? A: Attention to our emotional foundation leads to increased productivity, as well as enhanced feelings of well-being. Risks of ignoring emotional life are similar to risks of ignoring a whine in a car engine or a pain in the chest: car breaks down or heart fails. Normal people, just like cars, need care and maintenance. Q: Even at Harvard? A: Stress is common, indeed inevitable, among highly intelligent, creative people, such as grad students at Harvard. The more ambitious and aggressive the program you are in, the more likely you will encounter the friction of stress, just like a car that drives fast all the time. To acknowledge this is wise and strong, not whiny and weak. You would never tell someone who brought his or her car in for a tune-up to shut up and stop complaining. Q: How common are stress-related problems at a place like Harvard? A: Extremely common. Virtually every member of the Harvard community would do better if they broadened their emotional foundation. Q: What are some of the signs of wear and tear on the emotional system? A: Reduced productivity, under achievement, loss of interest in activities that used to be of interest, increased irritability, fatigue, insomnia, weight loss or gain, reduced motivation and confidence, increased pessimism and cynicism, decline in mental efficiency and powers of concentration, reduction in creativity, tendency to perceive criticism or rejection where none is intended, recurring gloomy (even suicidal) thoughts, increased use of alcohol or other psychoactive substances, increase in self- criticism, excessive worrying, tendency to pull away from others and reject help when it is offered, various physical complaints that yield no medical diagnosis. Q: If I feel any of these symptoms, how can I tell if I have a problem-as opposed to just having a bad day or a bad week? A: If any of these symptoms occurs with sufficient intensity and duration to hold you back, either personally or professionally, then it is worth taking corrective steps. Q: What are some of the corrective steps I can take? A: Never worry alone. Talk to someone you trust. A friend. Your advisor. A relative. Any person with whom you feel comfortable. This is good preventative medicine, as well as good treatment for bad times when they hit. Get the facts. Very often stress and worry emerge from the imagination, not from reality, particularly for creative people working alone. We (as a writer I experience this all the time) tend to imagine all kinds of negative outcomes or negative judgments that simply have no basis in outside reality. We take a little tidbit of reality and exaggerate it and amplify it in our imaginations until we have turned a chance remark into a prophecy of doom. Get enough sleep. Eat right. Don't skip breakfast. Try to include some protein with breakfast. Get plenty of exercise. This is one of the best things you can do for your brain. Pray or meditate. Learn how to put yourself into a quiet place mentally and turn off your critical voice. Learn how to talk well to yourself. Make a plan to attack your worry; don't be the passive victim and let worry attack you. When stressed, do not withdraw. Tell others. Don't be macho when it comes to your emotional life. That is as misguided as driving on a flat tire. Maintain your support system. Make time for friends. you can still be a crazed, frantic, hyper grad student and have time to say hi to a friend or send an E-mail to your old mentor back home. It is good for you to feel connected. Remember that to be productive over the long haul and not burn out, it is key that you learn how to manage your mind- not just keep flogging it to produce more and more. Keep a sense of humor. Laugh a lot. Life is funny Don't use alcohol or other substances to medicate your stress and worry. It is fine to drink, just don't drink as a form of self-treatment. Make sure you get enough sunshine. People who work indoors long hours can develop depression simply on the basis of not getting enough sunlight. If you can't get out in the sun, there are lights you can buy that will provide the kind of light you need. Take quick exercise breaks when you are working long hours, e.g., run up and down stairs a few times, or go for a brisk walk around the block. This has the effect of pushing the reset button on your brain. Have music playing in the workplace, in your lab or office. Pick music you like. Experts on the effects of music on the brain recommend Mozart. Have a friend or colleague massage your shoulders from time to time. Stress tends to accumulate in the trapezius (back of shoulder) muscle. Do not hesitate to seek professional help. There are good remedies now for toxic worry, depression, excess anxiety. Both targeted (not endless) psychotherapy and the new generation of medications work well. Don't spend too much time on-line. A recent study out of Carnegie Mellon reported that even an hour a week on-line was associated with increased feelings of loneliness and depression. Beware of the tendency I see all the time among my very bright patients to become addicted to their personal computers and to the Internet. A corollary to the previous item: avoid excessive TV. This also blurs your brain. Especially important is not to consume too much news, via TV, or in any other way. The news is upsetting. It is meant to be upsetting to get you to pay attention to it. Resist this. Hire experts to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help-whether it is in chemistry, or in money management, or in how to do laundry. Stress builds when you feel incompetent in any particular task. Complain. Complaining-to the right person-is good for the soul. Don't invoke the moral diagnosis. In other words, don't call yourself weak or a wimp if you feel sad, worried, or gloomy. Think of these emotions as noises in your car engine. Investigate them, don't rebuke them. Improvement comes from knowledge, not from self-blame. Sing, whistle, smile. Sounds ridiculous, but stress goes down if you sing. It is hard to worry and whistle simultaneously. Never worry alone. A repeat of the first item, because it is the most important item on this list. Q: What if these measures are not enough? A: Professional help can make a big difference. The University Health Services are always available. You can also call Dr. Hallowell and see him or ask for a referral. The department will pay for this service. His phone number is ........... His E-mail address is..........." Edward M. Hallowell, Connect, Pantheon Books 1999 -=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Steven W. Gilbert, President, The TLT Group For general information about AAHESGIT and how to subscribe to it, see the Listserv/AAHESGIT section of WWW.TLTGROUP.ORG. For more specific information about how to post a message, or about copyright permission for the use of this document, see http://www.tltgroup.org/listserv/copyright.html If you cannot comfortably use the Web, send your request by Email to GILBERT@TLTGROUP.ORG or fax to 202 467 6593. Please duplicate and/or forward the message and "signature" above to your friends and colleagues who might find it useful. - Copyright 2000 Steven W. Gilbert